Couch potato de Weird Al Yankovic

Look
if you had
one shot
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the tv you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush
would you go for it?
or just let it slip?
yo
Remote is ready
eyes wide, palms are sweaty
there's flintstones on the tv already
wilma 'n' betty
no virgin to channel surfin'
and i'm hd-ready
so i flip
garbage is all i'm getting
There's simon cowell
who folks wanna disembowel
he opens his mouth
always says something foul
they're dyin', wow
wannabes are crying now
he votes them out
time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality
oh, the humanity
oh, ozzy's family
sho' loves profanity
whoa, the insanity
oh, dogs that crap and pee
home of depravity?
no, they live happily
yo
Plus "da ali g show"
and "celebrity mole"
oh, and there's anna nicole
well, she's scaring me
"look ma, no cavities"
oh, it's a station break
better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
"you're gonna lose your mind watchin' tv" they told me, they'd scold me
but i'd still tune in every show (show)
my cable gets c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the travel channel, discovery, and lifetime (yo)
"you're gonna lose your mind watchin' tv"
they told me, cajoled me, "turn off those music videos" (no)
i'm gonna watch c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the history channel and qvc and lifetime (yo)
(you're gonna)
My butt is aching
as i watch nascar racing
that show about undertaking
larry king
to "24" to "law and order"
the weather channel's boring like "60 minutes"'s ancient reporters
next up on "e true hollywood story"
the rise and decline of twelve actors named corey
Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
"csi: boise" and "touched by an uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n'
so does "everybody tolerates raymond"
and "king of queens" jumped the shark the first minute
i can't believe richard simmons ain't in it
I'll move right on to "8 simple rules for dating my teenaged daughter"
then i bet
i watch "the bachelorette"
followed by "welcome back, kotter"
and "the muppet show" where they go 'mahna mahna'
"you're gonna lose your mind watching tv"
they told me, they'd scold me
but i'd still tune in every show (show)
my cable gets c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the disney channel and a&e and lifetime (yo)
"you're gonna lose your mind watching tv"
they told me, cajoled me
but i still love lisa kudrow (drow)
i'm looking at c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the playboy channel and court tv and lifetime (yo)
(you're gonna)
Never missed "melrose place" or "lost in space"
i've seen each "amazing race" and "without a trace"
but i only watched "will and grace" one time one day
wish i hadn't 'cause tivo now thinks i'm gay
Oh, and "fear factor" i watched maybe a half hour
after that, felt like i needed a long shower
network execs with naked ambitions
"next week on fox, watch lions eat christians"
Like to tie up those programming planners
make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "scanners"
leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "survivor"
look there's james lipton discussing the oeuvre of mr. rob schneider
And there's "gilligan" and "spongebob", plus there's "macgyver"
and jay leno has got madonna, hey there's luke perry on a
special all pig-latin episode of "drew carey"
Wanna turn on "; 'cause i'm a gossip freak
and i gotta know who j. lo is marryin' this week
a 30 second spot
then we come back to "are you hot?"
i was planning on recording "the sopranos"
i forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
i'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
because i only have got
one brain to rot
i'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
"you're gonna lose your mind watching tv"
they told me, they'd scold me
but i'd still tune in every show (show)
my cable gets c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the sci-fi channel and amc and lifetime (yo)
"you're gonna lose your mind watching tv"
they told me, cajoled me, "turn off that oprah winfrey show" (no)
i got it on c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the learning channel and mtv and lifetime (yo)
(you're gonna)
You can watch anything you want to, man

Mira
si tuvieras
una oportunidad
de sentarte en tu trasero perezoso
y ver toda la televisión que desearas
hasta que tu cerebro se convirtiera en puré
lo harías?
o dejarías que se te escapara?
yo
El mando está listo
ojos bien abiertos, palmas sudorosas
ya hay los Picapiedra en la tele
Wilma y Betty
no es novata en hacer zapping
y estoy listo para HD
así que cambio de canal
basura es todo lo que obtengo
Está Simon Cowell
a quien la gente quiere despellejar
abre la boca,
siempre dice algo grosero,
están muriendo, guau,
los wannabes lloran ahora,
él los vota fuera,
es hora de rendirse.
Programas basados en la realidad,
oh, la humanidad,
oh, la familia de Ozzy,
le encanta la profanidad,
vaya, la locura,
oh, perros que cagan y mean.
hogar de depravación?
No, viven felices.
yo
Además "el show de Ali G"
y "celebrity mole"
oh, y ahí está Anna Nicole,
bueno, me da miedo.
"Mira mamá, sin caries"
oh, es un corte comercial,
mejor salgo a la cocina y caliento algo en el microondas.
"Vas a perder la cabeza mirando televisión", me dijeron; me regañaron,
pero aun así sintonizaba cada programa (programa).
Mi cable tiene C-SPAN, TV Land y HBO,
el canal de viajes, Discovery y Lifetime (yo).
"Vas a perder la cabeza mirando televisión"
me dijeron, me persuadieron: "apaga esos vídeos musicales" (no), voy a ver C-SPAN, TV Land y HBO,el canal de historia y QVC y Lifetime (yo)(vas a)

Me duele el trasero
mientras veo las carreras de NASCARese programa sobre funerariasLarry King

a "24", a "Ley y Orden"

el canal del clima es aburrido como los viejos reporteros de "60 Minutos"

siguiente en "e True Hollywood Story"

la subida y caída de doce actores llamados Corey

Programas para el próximo otoño ya han sido nombrados:

"CSI: Boise" y "tocado por un tío", suenan bastante tontos también

al igual que "a todo el mundo le tolera Raymond"

y "rey de reinas" saltó el tiburón en el primer minuto.

No puedo creer que Richard Simmons no esté en ello.

Pasaré directamente a "8 reglas simples para salir con mi hija adolescente."

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